How to Move on From
An Ex-Partner?

The weight of letting go

It is common to feel lonely, sad, angry, upset and frustrated after the breakdown of a relationship. Ending a relationship, whether it be a long term marriage or a short term fling, can leave you with a number of overwhelming emotions. Moving on from your ex-partner can be one of the most emotional experiences to go through.

Moving on from the loss of the relationship that was built is not an easy experience. It is a time where many people can struggle. And for some, it can turn into high levels of grief that can remain for many years. It can affect your quality of life, friendships, work, your ability to meet and connect with new people. It can even lead to some addictions that mask the pain but do not resolve it at a deeper level.

In this article, we will explore how to move on from your ex-partner and how to process the grief that you may be holding onto.

When grief doesn’t follow the rules

Some would say divorce is a symbol, a finalization, that a marriage is over. In a legal sense this is true. But the pain and grief that still remains with a person that has gone through a divorce can be very overwhelming and a sign that they are not able to fully let go.

The pain and grief can be the same for someone that may not have been married but was in a short-term relationship. Grief does not discriminate based on just how long the relationship lasted or what type of relationship it was. This overwhelming grief can remain for a long time and the person is then stuck living with this each day. For some it can be years before this is resolved.

So what are the ways that you can move forward? What can you do to not feel the pain and grief that is left after a relationship breakdown?

Why the usual advice falls short

There are many articles, books and blogs out there explaining different kinds of ways on how to move on from your ex-partner. From taking time out for yourself, going on a 5-star retreat, going out with friends, meeting new people, exercising at the gym, picking up new hobbies — the list goes on. These are temporary measures people take to have some feeling of relief. But you cannot run away from yourself.

You could be in a 5-star retreat and temporarily feeling nice, but when you go back to your room you are left with yourself and your unresolved issues. Some people will use numerous measures to numb these unpleasant emotions — drinking alcohol, using drugs, binge watching TV, phone scrolling, binge eating, shopping. These are just some examples of what can even become addictions in order to not feel and numb out the pain.

The truth of the matter is, to resolve grief and to truly move on from your ex, you need something deeper than a temporary fix. Reading about the topic of how to move on from a relationship breakdown is one thing. But just reading about something does not mean that you have worked on resolving the issue.

A path to genuine resolution

Seeing a psychologist or someone that is professionally trained to deal with grief can be an effective way to help you move on from your ex-partner. However, it also depends on whether a psychologist is going to just have a chat to you about the issue or use therapies and methods to assist you in moving forward. Although chatting about your pain can give you a sense of relief, it can also result in remaining stuck in the pain.